Former English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his current wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's shock or perhaps I deal with matters uniquely, and when I have the facts, it's simpler," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the issue, a set of scans revealed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're understandably quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a third of people within a year and above half within 730 days of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Family Impact
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody stated the focus was being in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be very intensely directed on just welcoming and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really lucky that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Athlete Connection
Elite athletes are excessively affected by MND, with studies indicating the incidence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 obtainable and producing damage to nerve cells, consistent, intense exercise can initiate the illness in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, unwavering method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a practice altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a practice gear and began throwing himself into tackles.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial phase of play, establishing a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop kick.
Assistance Network
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that type of care and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he said.
"This game is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will want to support in every way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
